The New Joys of Jello Chronicles Part 4

Look at this family. Look at their happiness eating a Jello confection and drinking milk around a large dining room table and talking and laughing. This must be the dessert after a meatloaf and mashed potatoes and green beans dinner.

Was it really ever like that in 1979? Or is Jello merely the fantasy and the aspiration here? Jello as aspiration! How glorious!

What would the kids have thought if they had known Jello comes from cow bones, hides and hooves? I certainly wasn’t aware of that as a Jello-eating kid in the 70s. I doubt my mother knew. But I don’t think it would have made any difference if she had known.

Did you know that there exists a vegan Jello product with a red algae substituting for cow parts? There is. The internet said so.

I want to try it! I want to make one of these classic swinging Jello recipes from 1979 with red algae. Didn’t I read somewhere that eating algae and seaweed is supposed to enhance your brain’s ability to function? I know I did somewhere and it wasn’t on the internet.

Oh to show at a party with a scrumptious algae Jello dish in a crystal curvaceous mold resting on a silver platter! The party-goers would be awestruck. Maybe slip some psilocybin mushrooms (finely grated) into the juicy depths of the fake gelatin and see where that party goes! It could be the reinvention of the sexy Jello party.

I think I’ll make this recipe:

Vegan Turkey-Souffle Magic Salad

1 package lemon or lime red algae Jello

¼ teaspoon salt

1 cup boiling water

½ cup cold water

¼ cup mayonnaise

1 tablespoon lemon juice

1 tablespoon grated onion

Dash of pepper

1 ½ cups diced tofu turkey

1/3 cup chopped magic mushrooms

1/3 cup chopped celery or green pepper

2 tablespoons chopped pimiento