Hank, the super hot beaver biologist, tells the strippers that a mile-long restoration of Johnson Creek near the club would cost over $100,000 and would include non-native plant removal, planting of trees and shrubs, culvert replacements, some easements on private property, and the placement of large woody debris. He also says that it would take several years to see any improvement in habitat.
Sage, Sinaman and Rayvnn eat steaks at the rack while a colleague prances above them and they confer with Hank about the restoration plan. They also discuss how they can raise the dough in a short amount of time. A couple extra shifts and bigger tips aren’t going to cut it! Sinaman pitches an idea for a line of naughty beaver-themed t-shirts and panties and doodles a logo up on a cocktail napkin. They’ll dance in the apparel, sell the line on Etsy, and start a Gofund project, too. Hank suggests they sell choice cuts of beaverwood as well, and brings out a few samples for the strippers inspection. Sage handles one, massages it a bit, and jokes they could market certain cuts as dildos! Everyone yucks it up after hearing that. Saving beavers is fun!
As time goes by, Bushy the Beaver regains his strength at a wildlife rehabilitation facility in rural Clackamas County. The strippers arrange for a Beaver Cam at the facility to broadcast Bushy’s antics and they play it nonstop at the club as the strippers perform. Bushy becomes a kind of folk hero to the club’s regulars and they contribute money to pay for his care. Bushy’s YouTube station begins to accumulate hits and then goes viral when the scantily clad strippers start singing 80s and 90s pop hits to him live at the facility. “Like a Virgin” by Ravynn is especially popular. Some advertising revenue trickles in but the strippers need something big, really big, to get the cash really flowing. Then one afternoon, one of the old timer regulars, Elmer, a retired hippie archaeologist, says he just finished a biography of Neil Young and says Neil loves beavers and has completed all kinds of watershed restoration projects on his farm in Northern California. It’s practically a beaver paradise! That’s it! Neil Young! Get him to play a show in the club’s parking lot and charge $500, no $1000 a ticket! The strippers would dress up as sexy beavers right down to fake goofy buckteeth and faux tails and writhe around beaverwood poles onstage as Neil rocks the living hell out of the place. They’d live stream the gig, too, and the donations would pour in!