Hey, I don’t have follow the rules about setting off fireworks during a record heat wave.
I will have my campfire and my kid will roast hot dogs in a real flame even though authorities have banned campfires because they might set off forest fires that will burn down the Western United States.
It’s okay if I take a picture of myself getting vaccinated even though a hundred signs at the vaccination center prohibit it due to privacy concerns.
I don’t have to wear a fucking mask when I enter a private business because I don’t have to!
Hey, we’ll be the first empire ever to conquer Afghanistan.
I know more about public health science than scientists. I just know. Let me send you a link.
God told us to kill Indians and steal their land. It’s our destiny.
I am perfectly in the right double parking on a busy road at rush hour so I can drop off my kind at adventure camp. No, the kid can’t be dropped off a block away on a side street and walk, even though he’s going on a five mile hike later that morning.
My kid has the right to be entertained and be the center of attention wherever adults gather.
I damn well have to travel to Disneyland during a pandemic because I’m so fucking bored and aggravated with my life at home, and that includes being around my family.
Dammit, the government should work, but I don’t want to pay taxes to fund it, or I elect politicians who don’t believe in governing.
I judge everyone via social media but don’t want it to happen to me when I make a public mistake.
I fly to Cancun during an ice storm while all my constituents freeze. But who gives a shit, they’ll vote for me again.
Hey, I’m a zillionaire, I get to fly into space. Meanwhile, Americans die from lack of air conditioning.