Oregon Tavern Age begins with a list of questions that I’ve been asked by complete strangers during the course of two decades of OTA investigations…I have often wondered if something unusual about my appearance instigated the asking of these questions, some so random and bizarre that they almost defied answering. Almost.
Here are some of the questions:
Do you want some fresh trout?
Are you the FBI agent who shot Randy Weaver at Ruby Ridge?
Do you want to hear a story about Paul Newman?
You wanna craft?
Are you Colin Farrell?
Are you Jeff Bridges, the actor in “King Kong?”
You want to see my pig?
Are you Jim Carey?
Did you know I saw Barbra Streisand wearing sweat pants?
Do you want to die?
Will you dance with me?
Wanna hold my glass eye?
Wanna know why I got drunk on Christmas morning and put my fist through the aquarium?
Did you know Clark Gable had sex in here?
Can I fix your hair?
Do you know how much cocaine Jack Nicholson snorted in here?
Why did Marvin Gaye have to die?
Where do you think the Nelsons are today?
Is cognac from Yugoslavia?
Do you know I built a stripper pole in my living room?
Did you know Lewis and Clark were really gay?
Do you know how drunk I really can get?
Where’d you get all that dirt?
You want some octopus fritters?
Do you want some smoked smelt?
Who would ever want to be a proctologist?
Do you know why I like eating raw meat on a white plate?
You know what it’s like to mow 30 acres on meth?
I’m lookin’ at a real man, aren’t I?
Are you a rocker?
Are you in the rock zone?
Did you know that I learnt pool in prison?
You know how much fun it is to blow the head off a sea lion?
Do I have a purty mouth?
Wanna hear the story of the guy who died on that stool?
Ever had a limb amputated?
What is time?
You like canned corn?
You want a car?
You think a dye grinder would cut off my chastity belt?
You know a man had his ashes flushed down the toilet in here?
You know what it’s like to buy a boat from a dead man?
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