What’s Happening to Me?

What’s happening to me? I drink city slicker IPAs. I bought new sneakers made from recycled materials that are adorned with an affirmation of positive living. I eat at food carts. I ride my retro, Rastafarian-colored bicycle around my neighborhood and breathe the pot smoke wafting through the leafy trees planted to combat global warming. I rail against the ineptitude of city government. I went antique shopping and bought a vintage plush chair to read the New York Times Sunday edition in print while drinking fair trade coffee. I bought a bottle of Oregon wine that benefited the owners of vineyards damaged by forest fires. I’ve started using phrases like “existential threat” and words like “entitlement.” I’ve considered buying a boutique doughnut. I’ve considered writing earnest fiction. I looked at someone using an umbrella in a squall and didn’t object. I had my car window smashed in and repaired without notifying the police or insurance company. I am thinking about buying a face mask with the Rainier logo. I listen to OPB. What is happening to me?