trump

May 17, 2023

Trump Takes a Molalla Dump

Donald Trump swallowed Molalla whole in one bite, just like a 4^th of July rodeo hot dog smeared with mustard, relish and chili.

He held Molalla up to his mouth, flashed a shit eating grin, and down the hatch the wiener went.

Delicious! Molalla tasted so fucking good!

Molalla is currently meandering way through Trump’s digestive track, roughly the length of the US/Mexico border. His colon twinges and flutters with delight at the prospect of taking a big Molalla shit. It will be twice the pleasure of pinching that Coos Bay loaf.

A Trump Dump—three miles long, ten feet across, the color of Thanksgiving yams and pure as the driven bile except for the tiny crucifixes, surviving like so much corn.

Molalla paid Trump for the privilege of shitting them out. They liked being shit and treating others like shit. Solidarity in stools and stooges!

See Trump’s dump sizzle on the concrete in the summer heat. Molalla will fall on its knees and worship this new creche.

Thank Christ he took it on the sidewalk of Main Street in front of the hair salon with the Fuck Biden and His Kamala Ho poster in the window.

No way you gonna flush this colossal turd! No way their sewage treatment could handle it anyway. They’d need a bailout from Portland to fix their fuck up.

Trump 2024! Making America’s Bowel Movements Great Again!

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The Old Crow

Book Club

$11.99 + $3 Shipping

In December of 2020, author Matt Love moved to Portland to care for his elderly father.

Returning to the Rose City jolted Love after 23 years residing on the Oregon Coast. In the Sellwood neighborhood where he lived, Love met a homeless man named Mark. They formed a friendship over literature and the unforeseen magical discoveries in street libraries. They created The Old Crow Book Club, and yes, sometimes that involved drinking Old Crow on a sidewalk.

The club also included several other Sellwood homeless men and women cut from John Steinbeck's Cannery Row cloth.

In due course, Love learned the members' stories of homelessness and how they survived. He wondered what happened to his beloved state of Oregon and attempted to help Mark get off the streets only to run up against the seemingly futile policies to address the crisis.

Along the way, he had the best conversations about books in his life and wrote The Old Crow Book Club, where he recounts his interactions with the homeless people in his neighborhood and offers some suggestions how to alleviate what he considers the greatest man-made American humanitarian disaster of his adult life.

The Old Crow Book Club is available for purchase here and select independent bookstores in Oregon.

Choice Cuts

of Oregon Fiction

$22.99 + $3 Shipping

Choice Cuts of Oregon Fiction by Matt Love contains 20 stories, all set in Oregon. The cast of characters includes a depressed Santa Claus, Steve Prefontaine, Jack Ramsay's fast break offense, socialist squirrels, a clearcut, a dead deer, a junior high football team, a high school tennis player, a dissipated teacher, a man who evolves into a beaver, a homeless vet, a jilted preacher, a double date to a prom, rural degenerates, a wily caterer, and much more.

The publication of the collection culminates a quarter century of the author's writing about Oregon and rambling around the state.

Choice Cuts is available for purchase here, through Amazon, or select independent bookstores in Oregon.

The Savage

of State Street

Nestucca Spit Press is proud to present The Savage of State Street: The Thieving and Literary Lives of Smoky Epley. He is the greatest unheralded writer in Oregon history and also one of its more mediocre, colorful and persistent thieves.

$19.99 + $3 Shipping

In 1973, Oregon State University Press published Men in Exile: An Anthology of Creative Writing by Inmates of the Oregon State Penitentiary. Twenty-two of Smoky Epley's pieces appeared in the book.

Smoky spent most of his adult life in state and federal prisons for robbery. In 2008, during one of his brief stints of freedom, Smoky became friends with Matt Love, an Oregon author and publisher. They met after Love discovered Men in Exile and wrote a newspaper column about the landmark book. Smoky read the column and reached out.

He returned to prison in 2009 after forging a check. Upon his release in 2011, Love encouraged Smoky to write a memoir. He completed half of Auto before dying in February of 2013.