The Rake Versus the Leaf Blower

Fall arrived. The leaves have fallen. Now they must be gathered and hauled away. Out on the neighborhood streets men and women had a choice: to rake or to blow. In other words, night and day.

On a recent Sunday morning walk, mere hours before the city’s military force of leaf removal plowed through the area, I estimated about a 50/50 split between the rake and the blower. I closely inspected the wielders of the rakes and the blowers to discern a type, a mood, an ideology. I looked at their clothes and faces. (Note to reader: I didn’t see a see single kid raking. Not one! Raking a chore or punishment is dead!)

Let us consider a supposed metaphorical comparison/competition between an old fashioned metal rake and a new fangled leaf blower. The tines versus the tumult.

First let me admit, I absolutely loathe leaf blowers and applaud the municipalities that ban them. They are a menace to any civilized neighborhood and a perfect illustration of how the grotesque and obnoxious commercial transformation of something so simple and sublime (raking leaves and listening to the world around you) into a mechanized and polluting monster says everything about contemporary American life. More noise, less thought. More chaos, less order.

So I admit my bias in moderating this competition, but so be it. Here we go.

Consider this:

Would you rather have a rake or blower as a:

Parent?

Lover?

Partner?

Chef?

President of the United States?

Neighbor?

Writer?

Musician?

Judge?

Friend?

General?

Comedian?

Platoon leader?

Cop?

Tarot card reader?

Doctor?

Boss?

Contractor?

Teacher? (I was a bit of both in my career. I wish now I had been 99% rake.)

I invite you to make other metaphorical comparisons. Obviously, contemporary American culture is dominated by the leaf blower mentality. Maybe it always has been. But I certainly believe we need more rakes and rakes and rakes in all aspects of our lives. In the long run, the rake will win out, because well, the blower always runs out of gas.