The Fantasy of Van Life

“Get your dream back,” announced the sports radio talk show host in an advertisement that supports his show. The way to get your dream back, he tells us, is by buying a Mercedes Benz Sprinter Van and beginning the “van life.”

Incidentally, the “van life” recently ended in death for a young couple exhibiting their extraordinarily banal version of this new trend. The only interesting thing in this couple’s “van life” was their death, which is saying something terrible.

“See the world…build a cabin with your father in the country…” said the host, listing just some of the dreams listeners lost somewhere along the way that they now must reclaim from the dustbin of discarded or blunted dreams.

Just think: a radio ad can change your life. You will become your own best version of “Born to Be Wild.”

This is one of the strangest ad I have ever heard in my life. It seems impossible to think the Mercedes Benz believes that members of the older white Vegas-loving, sports-obsessed, boring, male demographic that comprises the vast majority of this boring show will purchase a $125,000 vehicle and hit the road in search of their dream. I mean, this is absurd. Funny how they don’t mention writing your novel, or painting your masterpieces, or recording your own personal double White Album or seeing all the battlegrounds where the indigenous people were slaughtered by the genocidal American Army.

So why was I even listening to a sports radio talk show? I infrequently listen to these type of programs when I drive so I can listen to (and scream at) the utter banality of their discussions. Cliches. Malaprops. Grade school vocabulary. Poor grammar. Hype. Inane repetition. Fawning. Deification. Conventional wisdom. Herd mentality. Constant self referencing. Errors of fact. Scared to take a real stand against the exploitation of others. The antithesis of everything Howard Cosell stood for as a broadcaster.

Why do I tune in for this purpose? I don’t really know. Perhaps hearing all the banality sharpens my mind as a thinker and writer so I don’t get lazy with my thinking and writing. It’s a lot like reading bad writing. You become a better writer by reading great writing and bad writing.

I listen, too, for a peek into the minds of the announcers and call-in guests, to learn what is happening with some of my fellow Americans. It should would be fun if I had my own sports radio talk show. I’d resurrect Howard Cosell for sure!