Of Dogs and Meaning (an excerpt from my forthcoming book)
Late in his rotund life, Orson Welles would regularly have lunch at a West Hollywood restaurant, Ma Maison, and always bring along his lapdog Kiwi. Dogs were not allowed inside Ma Maison but management made an exception for Orson Welles. How could they not? Welles often ordered a separate lunch for Kiwi (who ate off a plate at the table) and it isn’t clear if Welles ever paid for the meals. Why should he? He’s Orson Welles! All manner of celebrities dropped by Welles’ table to pay their respects and Welles delighted when Kiwi let loose with one of his “atomic” farts that stunk up the joint and led to abbreviated conversations, particularly with celebrities he loathed. Speaking of Orson Welles, one of the greatest TV pitchmen in broadcasting history, I despise almost every commercial on any media format, but dearly wish I could heard that magnificent voice (accompanied by a barking dog) in an ad for Chuck Wagon dog food.
In Sergeant York, Gary Cooper contemplated renouncing his pacifism and fighting in WW I by staying up all night with his coonhound on a promontory overlooking a valley. There, York reads a textbook on civics that ultimately convinced him to fight for his country. What is not widely known is that the director cut the scene where the coonhound talked to Cooper and urged him to remain a pacifist, expounding on the need for world peace and universal brotherhood. Basically, the coonhound was a stand-in for Jesus, but the savior’s words flew right over his master’s head and York ended up killing lots of Germans, winning the Medal of Honor, and becoming an American hero. The lesson is: when it comes to war, no American listens to Jesus on the matter of “love thy enemy as thyself” and “turn the other cheek,” particularly if the message is transmitted through a coonhound. Perhaps a breed like a blue-eyed border collie with long golden hair better resembling a Caucasian, American-looking Jesus might have been a better choice. Did you ever stop to realize how many dogs look like this American version of Jesus? Jesus! Maybe he has returned to us a thousand different times and all the time and Christians are simply not noticing!
I once met an elderly man in a RV park who lived in a 5th-wheel trailer with two elderly malamutes. Actually the malamutes didn’t live in the RV. The man had purchased a mini-van and ripped out all the seats except the driver’s to create a living space for the dogs. He left the van’s sliding door open day and night so the dogs could come and go as they pleased. They never went into the trailer. Whenever the man wanted to take the dogs to the beach or woods, he merely called and motioned the malamutes inside, shut the door, and drove the van to a destination. He also owned a $60,000 truck to tow the 5th wheel and the van at the same time with the malamutes inside when he traveled to a new park.