Frank Beavers for Governor!

(It’s about Dam time!)

The kind of hard working Oregonian our state demands today!

Industrious. Soft spoken. Family man. Builder. Sculptor. Vegetarian. Sober.

Hello, fellow Oregonians:

I am launching my independent write-in campaign for governor on this blog. I can no longer stand aside as ideological differences permanently tear our beloved state apart.

Vote me, Frank Beavers, for Oregon Governor. Over the course of the campaign, I will share my personal history and political positions to attract your vote.

Below is my platform to reform Oregon.

Frank Beavers’ Platform for a Better Oregon

  1. Stop killing beavers and wolves in the name of the common good.
  2. Make “Louie, Louie” the official state song.
  3. Create 25 new state parks funded by a tax on millionaires.
  4. Appoint a special statewide task force addressing the homeless issue that mandates the governor serve as chair.
  5. Designate 1970s’ Vortex I, the only state sponsored rock festival in American history, the official state story.
  6. Tear down the The Dalles Dam and resurrect Celilo Falls.
  7. Ban all single use plastic bags.
  8. Ban all clearcuts.
  9. Commandeer 10,000 used RV trailers and fifth wheel trailers to house homeless people as temporary emergency measure.
  10. Require public schools to teach Critical Beaver Theory, a curriculum that teaches beavers are the most important species in restoring Oregon’s degraded watersheds to full ecology.
  11. Create a socialist cooperative that purchases and manages the NBA’s Portland Trail Blazers as a publicly-owned franchise.
  12. Plant a million trees a year on public and private land in Oregon.