I walked north along the beach in a thick morning fog. I expected to come to a creek that flowed into the ocean and thus, would have to turn around.
But the creek wasn’t there. A wall of sand blocked the entrance to the sea and the creek’s low summer flow couldn’t break through.
So I kept walking into a new beach I’d never walked before.
Oh the magic of a new Oregon beach! I live for this sort of thing and whenever I think I’ve hit them all, I find a new undiscovered stretch and fall in love with Oregon’s socialist beaches all over again. When some day I’ve fallen off the cliffs at Hart’s Cove, I want to know that I am the greatest beach walker in Oregon history. Hubris? Why the hell not? Certainly I’ve written more words about Oregon’s beaches than anyone in Oregon history. Double hubris? Why not?
To my astonishment I found a fort on this beach. I inspected it. A perfect little nap, drop-out-of-America fort. I kept moving. Lots of kelp in piles that suggested an invading army had been wiped out coming ashore.
As I headed back, an idea for a country song popped into mind. What?! I titled it “Cowboy Conservative.”
I was inventing the lyrics right there, and singing them in the fog, probing for a melody.
I’m a cowboy conservative sonofabith / Get my news from Fox News tits
Wish the Confederacy wasn’t one and done / we’d be a righteous country if they had won
This is clearly a hit. I’ve really got to record the country album I’ve had in my head for years. I only need my lead singer to come forward. She knows who she is.