A Socialist Nine Holes of Golf

My camping sojourn to the Southern Oregon concluded on a spectacular note: I played nine holes of golf at the Cedar Bend Golf Club in Ophir and I played damn well.

The club is cooperatively owned and quite successful, a delicious irony considered its location in Curry County, one of the most reactionary places in Oregon. I suspect most of the members are Trumpian supporters and boy do they see first hand how socialism can benefit their lives. No absentee rapacious private ownership draining all the profits. All the profits get plowed into maintaining the course and it is in immaculate condition, the greens much better than the Sunriver course I played last summer.

I teed off at eight in the morning after seeing the sun rise on Bailey Beach with Elmer the husky.

Dew was on the ground. Songbirds sang. Birds of prey flew overhead. I played alone. Another solo golfer started before me. He played way too slow so I played through. Nice guy. He works for the Forest Service and gets a round in before work every morning, rain or shine.

I was rusty on the first two holes then found a groove except for putting. I saw bear and coyote scat on the fairways. I heard Cedar Creek (renamed from Squaw years ago over objections from the locals. Fuck em!) gurgle its way to ocean.

It didn’t take me long to remember how enjoyable it is to play golf alone. I did it all the time in my 20s at various courses around Clackamas County. I don’t think that’s possible in the metro area of Oregon anymore. Too many people.

I talked to myself aloud. On one short par 4 I said, “I am going to birdie this son-of-bitch!” I ripped a drive, hit an 8-iron within 12 feet and lipped out the birdie try! Then I parred the number 1 handicap hole to conclude the round.

If only that course was within an hour drive of Portland. But if it was, it would be privately owned by some golf conglomerate, double the price of $30 for nine holes, and I’d have to schedule a tee time. I just walked on!

Next socialist golf course to play: Reedsport. I bet I could get a great feature called “The Socialist Golf Course of the Oregon Coast” out of playing all these player-owned courses.

Now if they’d do the same for bowling alleys in rural Oregon areas. Socialist bowling!