On behalf of humans beings, I apologize for the Fourth of July fireworks. When I saw that look of terror etched in your face outside my friends’ living room, at dusk, sheer frozen terror, as the bombs and rockets were going off, I wanted to renounce my membership in humanity. I hope I never see that face in a deer again. It was the most unsettling visage I’ve ever seen in an animal.
Why? Why? Why? I believe setting off fireworks anywhere, in a city or deep in the woods, or on the beach, is perhaps the most pointless, obnoxious, psychically destructive, uncivil act an American can perform. Uncivil to neighbors, strangers, deer, dogs, birds and bumblebees. I have never understood their appeal. I hated them as a kid.
Again friend deer, and you are my friend, I am sorry. Take my garden if you want. I won’t object. I probably grew it for you anyway.