Oregon Tavern Age: No Lube

“Free Bird” played. Could I really stand to listen to this classic rock song again? It was deader than American representative government.

An ad for a gummy laxative played on a screen. What would happen if you ingested that product and THC infused gummy at the same time?

An OTA man at the bar talked about how drunk he was during the Cold War running a security detail on an Air Force base in Europe. He was pissed that Trump was destroying NATO. He had risked his life for the NATO alliance, got laid a lot, and now Trump was fucking it up. Fuck him!

It’s rare to hear such a profane anti-Trump sentiment in OTA country. Maybe there is still hope for us yet.

“Free Bird” ripped into its 13^th guitar solo.

A local part-time homeless man withdrew funds and fed them into a slot machine.

I was thinking about a semi-homeless woman I’d seen at the boat ramp 15 minutes ago. She sported long blonde hair down to her curvy ass and wore KISS-era platform shoes, you know the type Gene Simmons wore on stage that had live goldfish swimming around in the heels. The woman also wore a knee-length blue vinyl jacket and striped leggings.

Holy shit what an ensemble!

She was probably in her late 70s or early 80s and stood outside her battered sedan crammed full of possessions. She popped the trunk and dumped flotsam and jetsam from Coos Bay she had collected in a bucket. She closed the trunk and then got inside the sedan. The passenger side! And started vaping weed.

Who are these people? They are utterly unknown to American literature, film, journalism and streaming shows. Their numbers are growing.

An OTA man at the bar asked the female OTA bartender if he brought a rectal thermometer in, would she take his temperature? He needed it performed for some kind of medical treatment that probably involved daily masturbation and enemas. There would be a big tip for the service.

She declined the request.

Behind me, an OTA woman told an another OTA woman, “You took it up the ass with the no lube.”

She was referring to a business transaction, not sex.

When I heard this, I instantly thought of my country and President Trump.