Every dog park needs a Dumpmaster like Don,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
to sheriff scofflaws and scalawags<\/p>\n\n\n\n
who don’t scrub up after their canines.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how about some doggerel<\/p>\n\n\n\n
to celebrate Don this Christmas?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nothing like a poem about dog shit<\/p>\n\n\n\n
to make the season merry and bright.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, what scatological obsession!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, what eagle eyes!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, what selfless citizenship!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, what hatred for Ronald Reagan!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, what loathing of the Oregon Ducks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, what vocabulary!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Miscreant, misanthrope, mellifluous, malaise, mendacity.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n You haven’t lived until you’ve heard Don<\/p>\n\n\n\n give a running commentary if a dog has the runs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He really needs his own TikTok dog shitting channel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The kids would dig it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I mean, Don writes haikus about dogs taking dumps<\/p>\n\n\n\n IN REAL TIME!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Top that Emily Dickinson!<\/p>\n\n\n\n (Note to poet: Consider writing a poem about Emily Dickinson picking up her dog Carlo’s dumps. He was a Newfoundland!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you visit the dog park,<\/p>\n\n\n\n you best pay attention to your mutt’s anus<\/p>\n\n\n\n or Don will bark,<\/p>\n\n\n\n but he’s like Old Yeller;<\/p>\n\n\n\n he won’t bite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He’ll even pick up a dump for free<\/p>\n\n\n\n and not list it in the ledger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And don’t you dare wish for a white Christmas!<\/p>\n\n\n\n It would ruin all the fun at the dog park for Don.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He likes the hunt.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Every dog park needs a Dumpmaster like Don, to sheriff scofflaws and scalawags who don’t scrub up after their canines. So how about some doggerel to celebrate Don this Christmas? Nothing like a poem about dog shit to make the season merry and bright. Oh, what scatological obsession! Oh, what eagle eyes! Oh, what selfless […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9982,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9981","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meditations","category-poetry","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9981","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9981"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9981\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9983,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9981\/revisions\/9983"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9982"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}