I’m sitting in front of a burn barrel on Thanksgiving morning writing on my Alphasmart word processor with a crackling fire comprised of driftwood gathered from Oregon’s socialist ocean beaches and half a bag of charcoal. Inside the burn barrel rests a turkey, the first one I will have ever attempted to cook. Why try inside a burn barrel where you can’t control the temperature? A homeless man in Oregon City told me he cooked his turkeys this way, at least since he’d become homeless. So yeah, a writer’s conceit, but why not? Sometimes doing something for a story works out. If the bird fails, and I’m not sanguine about its chances, then the crows will feast on the front yard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wrapped the stuffed and sauteed (butter, sage and Calvados!) turkey in roasting pans and set the contraption on a raised grill rigged up via cinder block at the bottom of the burn barrel. I had cut off the hinged lid of my conventional charcoal barbecue to cover the burn barrel. Ingenious or half ass? There is such a thing as both at the same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The idea is to cook the bird for three hours (that’s what my step father told me, although he was referring to a conventional oven at 350 degrees. The other idea is that I will sit here, tend the fire, drink wine and write for three hours, and get a 10,000-word novella out of the experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Elmer is snoozed out after two long walks earlier this morning, including one at Bastendorff Beach where I met a nice family of Christians and their dogs from Medford who were RV camping for the holidays and staging a feast for 34 people. I admire that. They are making community and not sitting on their asses watching football, although I’m sure they can watch in their RVs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m drinking red wine. Hey, it’s a holiday. This is my first Thanksgiving without my father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My morning began with a brief conservation with a young homeless woman who lives with two small dogs out of her sedan in the neighborhood. She was outside her rig and I asked if she wanted some dog food that made Elmer allergic. She said yes<\/em> and thanked me. I’ll drop it by later, and maybe a leftover Thanksgiving meal if the turkey succeeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I need to check the turkey, but not sure how because of the intense heat. It’s been a little over 30 minutes since the cooking began.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I made my mom’s cornbread stuffing recipe yesterday in the crock pot she gave me when I moved out 40 years ago. It still works. I’ve mastered how to cook with it. I nailed the stuffing. So at least there is that and some mashed potatoes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I’ve got to check the bird. I glove up and remove the lid. The smell smells right. But the heat! This is way hotter than 350 degrees. I stare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The roasting pans are split, and partially melted. I pry open the pans with a barbecue fork. The bird is completely burned black all the way around! All the saute fixins have evaporated, so have the vegetables!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Elmer comes over to sniff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The crows will thank me!<\/p>\n\n\n\n But wait.<\/em> What’s under the crispy black interior? Did anything survive?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I spear the bird with considerable might and it splits open. STEAMING, BUBBLING SUCCULENCE! I tear off a hunk and nearly burn my hands. I break the hunk in half and feed myself and Elmer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Delicious. Not dry. Not wet. Perfect!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have crozzled (it’s an ancient Cormac McCarthy verb from The Road<\/em>) a Thanksgiving turkey. It’s a blackened Calvados Thanksgiving turkey! A fancy Portland restaurant would charge $59.99 a plate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It took 37 minutes for the bird to cook, if cook is the word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I spear the turkey and bring it inside. Elmer and I will be eating Thanksgiving breakfast at 10:49 am. The Lions game is on. I feel great.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And the homeless woman will get a big plate in several hours. (Which actually happened.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’m sitting in front of a burn barrel on Thanksgiving morning writing on my Alphasmart word processor with a crackling fire comprised of driftwood gathered from Oregon’s socialist ocean beaches and half a bag of charcoal. Inside the burn barrel rests a turkey, the first one I will have ever attempted to cook. Why try […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9625,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meditations","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9624","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9624"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9624\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9627,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9624\/revisions\/9627"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9625"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}