{"id":8395,"date":"2023-05-17T06:45:45","date_gmt":"2023-05-17T13:45:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/?p=8395"},"modified":"2023-05-17T06:45:45","modified_gmt":"2023-05-17T13:45:45","slug":"trump-takes-a-molalla-dump","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/meditations\/trump-takes-a-molalla-dump\/","title":{"rendered":"Trump Takes a Molalla Dump"},"content":{"rendered":"<!-- wp:themify-builder\/canvas \/-->\n\n\n<p>Donald Trump swallowed Molalla whole in one bite, just like a 4<sup>th<\/sup> of July rodeo hot dog smeared with mustard, relish and chili.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He held Molalla up to his mouth, flashed a shit eating grin, and down the hatch the wiener went.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Delicious! Molalla tasted so fucking good!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Molalla is currently meandering way through Trump&#8217;s digestive track, roughly the length of the US\/Mexico border. His colon twinges and flutters with delight at the prospect of taking a big Molalla shit. It will be twice the pleasure of pinching that Coos Bay loaf.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A Trump Dump\u2014three miles long, ten feet across, the color of Thanksgiving yams and pure as the driven bile except for the tiny crucifixes, surviving like so much corn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Molalla paid Trump for the privilege of shitting them out. They liked being shit and treating others like shit. Solidarity in stools and stooges!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>See Trump&#8217;s dump sizzle on the concrete in the summer heat. Molalla will fall on its knees and worship this new creche.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thank Christ he took it on the sidewalk of Main Street in front of the hair salon with the <em>Fuck Biden and His Kamala Ho<\/em> poster in the window.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No way you gonna flush this colossal turd! No way their sewage treatment could handle it anyway. They&#8217;d need a bailout from Portland to fix their fuck up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Trump 2024! Making America&#8217;s Bowel Movements Great Again!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Donald Trump swallowed Molalla whole in one bite, just like a 4th of July rodeo hot dog smeared with mustard, relish and chili. He held Molalla up to his mouth, flashed a shit eating grin, and down the hatch the wiener went. Delicious! Molalla tasted so fucking good! Molalla is currently meandering way through Trump&#8217;s [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8396,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meditations","category-poetry","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8395","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8395"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8395\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8398,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8395\/revisions\/8398"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}