{"id":7276,"date":"2021-08-23T07:02:26","date_gmt":"2021-08-23T14:02:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/?p=7276"},"modified":"2021-08-23T07:02:27","modified_gmt":"2021-08-23T14:02:27","slug":"scooter-woman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/meditations\/scooter-woman\/","title":{"rendered":"Scooter Woman"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-7276\" data-postid=\"7276\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-7276 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->\n\n\n<p>I walked down a sloped sidewalk on a weekday morning. The sun was out and heating up the big city.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Something above me, in the parking lot of a sushi restaurant, arrested my attention. I stopped and looked up and saw a young woman atop a dumpster emptying the contents of a coffee carafe. Then she dropped the carafe in the dumpster and jumped off into some shrubbery. A seconds later she materialized onto the sidewalk a few feet away from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She dressed in a black sports bra, black yoga pants and black boots. Her black hair was covered with a green and white paisley bandanna. She wore heart-shaped, rose-tinted sunglasses. She twitched the unmistakable vibe of a meth miscreant happy with the prospect of potential mayhem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The woman paid me no mind. She hustled over to a public electric scooter that was laden with an astonishing amount of gear ingeniously strapped to the scooter with rope and bungee cords. She strapped on a backpack, fired up the scooter, and also fired on some audio device because music instantly blasted out of speaker stashed somewhere in her gear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I heard a rapper rap: <em>My dick is hard as an elephant&#8217;s ivory tusk.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The woman rapped along with the song and rocketed the scooter out into the street. I watched her zig and zag and weave and wind behind a car. I heard her rap about a hard dick as she zoomed away out of sight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I laughed. How could I not? Wherever she was going, she appeared a lot happier than I felt, but I was now just a bit happier. Elephants are like that.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I walked down a sloped sidewalk on a weekday morning. The sun was out and heating up the big city. Something above me, in the parking lot of a sushi restaurant, arrested my attention. I stopped and looked up and saw a young woman atop a dumpster emptying the contents of a coffee carafe. Then [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7277,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meditations","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7276"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7276\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7279,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7276\/revisions\/7279"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7277"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}