A great friend, Toots, called me. She\nhad a sweet new gig\u2014bartending in OTA county at one of the last\njoints that didn’t serve liquor. I could barely contain my joy. Now I\nhad a Deep Throat source inside OTA country for all the OTA stories\nonly a bartender can elicit or solicit. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Over the years, Toots and I had spent\nhundreds of hours in OTA country together, more than a dozen joints.\nWe’d hit the sauce, sung karaoke, danced on tables, gigged, wrote\npoetry, and often shook our heads at all the crazy shit that went\ndown around us, some of it the result of our unintentional\ninstigation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, goddammit, it wasn’t her fault\nwhen a drunken man told her he had a passport and was ready to leave\nhis wife and run away with her. It certainly wasn’t her fault when\nshe had to flatten a surly bridesmaid with a right cross because the\nbitch wouldn’t shut up. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everything we did together was mystery\nachievement. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
First she broke the terrible news about\nthe joint: They now served liquor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
OTA Jesus wept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Next she launched into a story about\nsaving two goats from the slaughter, and rigging up a pen for them \nin the tavern’s spacious outdoor compound. It was a goddamn OTA\ndrinking\/petting zoo! What in the name of God! And there was a\nhorseshoe pit out there, too!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had to visit. I’d never petted a goat\nin a bar while drinking a double vodka and tossing a horseshoe. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Toots had named the beasts Sal and\nShack and you know some idiot will try and feed them Jello shots and\ndocument it on social media. If Toots sees that, she’ll clock the\nshit out of the degenerate. One punch, lights out, and he’s eating\nstraw. Sal and Shack might even cuddle with him \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No one fucks with Toots’ goats. \n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A great friend, Toots, called me. She had a sweet new gig\u2014bartending in OTA county at one of the last joints that didn’t serve liquor. I could barely contain my joy. Now I had a Deep Throat source inside OTA country for all the OTA stories only a bartender can elicit or solicit. Over the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5336,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meditations","category-oregon-tavern-age","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5335","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5335"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5335\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5338,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5335\/revisions\/5338"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}