A young couple blew into OTA country on\na Saturday afternoon. They sprinted to the bar and sat down on\nstools. The man announced loudly, \u201cShe’s off the market boys!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She was wearing a white wedding dress\nand black cat eye glasses. He wore jeans and a Red Sox t-shirt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bartender came up to the bride and\ngroom. He ordered three Jello shots and a vodka cranberry. She\nordered a shot of something and a vodka cranberry. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I took all this in from a few feet\naway, drinking the worst craft malt liquor I’d ever tasted. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They had escaped after the wedding at a\nnearby grange, for a mad dash into OTA country to get fucked up\nbefore the they had to cut the cake and the band started up. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Married in a grange! I want to get\nmarried in a grange! I want to serve the guests cold cracklin’ Hamm’s\nand two kinds of chili, vegetarian and elk, with lots of cornbread to\nsop it up. No cake. Just cannabis cupcakes. A hillbilly band, too. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The couple ordered another round. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No way they were consummating tonight. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Welcome to married life. \n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A young couple blew into OTA country on a Saturday afternoon. They sprinted to the bar and sat down on stools. The man announced loudly, \u201cShe’s off the market boys!\u201d She was wearing a white wedding dress and black cat eye glasses. He wore jeans and a Red Sox t-shirt. The bartender came up to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5217,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meditations","category-oregon-tavern-age","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5216"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5216\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5219,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5216\/revisions\/5219"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}