Jesus, what a day teaching Senior English at Taft High School in Lincoln City!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I taught Shakespeare by enema.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I rammed the Bard right up their ass,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
a Romeo and Juliet<\/em> suppository.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Wait, enema, suppository, isn’t that a contradiction?<\/p>\n\n\n\n That one rocker kid, Chris, burnout, surly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He demanded why he had to read this stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It wasn’t going to prepare him to repair a kitchen appliance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I told him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He shook his head, rolled his eyes, first out the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He’s probably the one who left the note: we fucked on your desk during the assembly, you should lock your door Mr. Love.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Show Claire and Leonardo and get the fucking unit over!<\/p>\n\n\n\n No one will know I quit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I raced home over Cascade Head in the pickup after work and loaded up the dogs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I wanted to hit Nestucca Spit and run to the end before dark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We hauled ass. I turned my head west and saw a dolphin jump!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I stopped dead in the sand, trained my vision to a porthole in the waves,<\/p>\n\n\n\n yelled at the dogs, \u201cDid you fucking see that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Yes, a dolphin. Do they swim off the Oregon Coast?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know the politics of oceans<\/p>\n\n\n\n but not much about mammals smart enough eons ago<\/p>\n\n\n\n to forgo land and return to the ocean<\/p>\n\n\n\n where they\u2019d never be ruled by such a colossal human fuck up<\/p>\n\n\n\n as the current President of the United States.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes I wish I could return to water to live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I’ll have to wait until I die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The dogs and I ran faster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sun gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dusk three shades of gray commanded the stage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I recited lines from soliloquies,<\/p>\n\n\n\n knowing I’d keep shoving Shakespeare up their asses tomorrow morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I never quit in the classroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We returned to the truck in darkness,<\/p>\n\n\n\n light rain landed on my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The ocean\u2019s scent strong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brine up my nostrils.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I dropped the tailgate, the dogs jumped in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We came together as a team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I petted their wet heads,<\/p>\n\n\n\n used my distinct funny voice for each dog,<\/p>\n\n\n\n told them what nuts they were.<\/p>\n\n\n\n All hail the power of a Nestucca Spit enema!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hey, fuck you Taft High seniors!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Get ready for a cold water high colonic in classic literature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Wait until we read the double suicide scene aloud<\/p>\n\n\n\n and CM plays Juliet and I play Romeo!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Jesus, what a day teaching Senior English at Taft High School in Lincoln City! I taught Shakespeare by enema. I rammed the Bard right up their ass, a Romeo and Juliet suppository. Wait, enema, suppository, isn’t that a contradiction? That one rocker kid, Chris, burnout, surly. He demanded why he had to read this stuff. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10077,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10076","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meditations","category-poetry","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10076","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10076"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10076\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10078,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10076\/revisions\/10078"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10077"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10076"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10076"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10076"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}