Some Suggested New Names for RVs in Contemporary America

In recent years, I have developed the curious hobby of compiling the interesting and arresting names of RVs I see rambling up and down Highway 101.

The names from the 70s and 80s are easily the most memorable. (Vixen and Ambassador are two favorite.)

The names for the newer models suck: Attitude, Ultra Maxx, Super Lite, Vegas, Era (era?).

Somewhere along the way, RV names stopped being existentially-themed and became banal or stupidly contrived with misspellings to boot.

Think The Seeker or The Defender from the 1970s versus Nite Hawk today.

Why the change? I don’t know but there is a novel in the change. It also probably has something to do with the dumbing down and branding up of Americans.

During the American Apocalypse currently unfolding, I have taken to inventing new names for RVs that might better reflect our strange times and suggest a fresh way of existential thinking for the millions of Americans gripped by panic, resignation, defiance, insanity, and anger and moved to buy RVs in record numbers.

Here they are:

The Shitshow Express

Kiss my Ass

Wastin’ Away in Shitsville

Take this Country and Shove It


Loser Deluxe

Loser Deluxe Super Ultra Lite

Let’s Get Lost (Chet Baker Special)

The Malaise

The Listless

The Plague (Camus Edition)

Checking Out

God is Real and Dead

Booze is my Co-Pilot

Pills and Stripes Forever

Nirvana Or Bust

The Druid Wagon

The Anti-Mayflower

Satan’s Sweet Ride

Hotel California

Douse My Fire

The Vast Unlaid

Love Hangover

Elk You

America the Banal

Nowhere to Run

The Mobile Bunker`

Born to Dog

Born to Lose

Born to Run in Place

Born Free as the Fart Wind

Magic Mushroom Show

Moby Dick Ain’t Gonna Sink Me

Jesus Wept for America

Socialism Paid for This

Bob Dylan Rolling Thunder Escape

Travels With Charley