I was feeling blue, Crayola Royal Blue. I can’t seem to make anything happen that will move me forward. I feel like I’m going to be marginalized forever. It’s a swim up a river running at three feet above flood stage.
You spend some time on a river and the river metaphors begin to appear.
More drizzle on the summer landscape as I pulled into the parking lot of the dog sanctuary.
Jacque, the sanctuary’s founder and resident saint, was there to greet me, along with roughly 12 other barking dogs. It was all sweet music to my ears. She slipped Bonnie and Clyde out the back gate and Clyde promptly went to the rear of my car and waited for me to open the trunk. He’d obviously watched me on previous visits and knew where the treats were stashed.
He’s obviously smarter than the President of the United States of America.
I unlocked the trunk and fished around for treats. Clyde damn near jumped into the trunk after them! The blue started lightening up right there and I pulled the old fiendish dog away and fed him a treat, Bonnie, too.
Fifteen or so minutes later, Bonnie and Clyde and I were standing near the river’s edge.
I looked left and saw some rustling in the high grass. Three or four tiny birds then splashed into the river, lined up tightly behind one another, floated down the rapids, veered to the right, floated under an alder root wad, and away from my sight. Were they baby ducks of some kind?
I had never seen anything like this before: birds riding the rapids!
The blue faded a bit more.
I bent over and cupped some water from the river and washed my face. Perhaps I could wash away a lot more than torpor and disillusionment. Can you do that with river water in Oregon? Can it wash away the blues? Is there a blues song on that subject? I ought to bring the guitar my attorney bought me on a snowy day in Astoria and strum it up while sitting on a camp stool in the river.
We sat down on the bank together. The drizzle picked up. I could see it moving through the air but it never made any impression when landing on the water. And believe me, I looked for that landing. I thought there might be some inspiration in there, something subtle and beautiful. Anything at all.
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